I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
