Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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