Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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