and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am puke
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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