he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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