so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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