That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
