Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
