It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
