I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
