...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
