As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
