babies were throwing up all over the place
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
