Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Two words: nipple clamps
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