is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That accounts for only three of the penises
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
