'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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