I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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