Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
