Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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