This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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