Don't make out with my wife yet
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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