Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
