So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
