I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
