Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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