pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
