Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
