your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
