No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
