I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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