we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
