GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
