And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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