I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize