Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize