so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
