Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
