don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The air taste purple.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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