i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
