Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
