Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
