Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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