hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
