every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
