Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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