does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
