I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
