Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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