Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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