I intend to get homeless drunk
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize