Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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