No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
