dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
