I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
