dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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