i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His hands were made for my vagina.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
