Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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