this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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