it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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